


Sacrifices

by endlessnightlock (Endlessnightlock)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Dealing With Guilt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Haymitch/Peeta, Hurt/Comfort, I liked the concept of this but I honestly can't write too much torture for these two, I'm a big baby, Loss of Virginity, No Smut, Non-predatory Peeta, Off-Screen Forced Prostitution, Off-Screen Underage Sex, Older Man/Younger Woman, Older Peeta, T, Teen Katniss, That isn’t the point of the story, Victor Katniss, and Katniss/Peeta/and their kids, not gratuitous, the only on screen appearances are Katniss/Peeta, the trigger references are mostly just implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endlessnightlock/pseuds/endlessnightlock
Summary: As the lone victor of the 74th Hunger Games, sixteen-year-old Katniss learns that she will soon have to enter the world of forced prostitution. She goes to 26-year-old Peeta for help, and they both have to deal with the aftermath of their choices.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 33
Kudos: 81





	1. Katniss

  1. **Argument leading to kissing/sex.**



  
  


Katniss’s hands shook as she stepped into her pants and tugged them up her legs. The buckle on her belt jangled, jarring her nerves, which were just as badly shaken as Peeta’s seemed to be. She tried not to look at him, but for some perverse reason, she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off him. 

Peeta stood a few feet away from her, arms crossed over his chest, keeping his eyes averted from her in the darkness of his bedroom as she dressed. He was so sickeningly noble she wanted to scream.

It wasn’t supposed to have gone this way. 

Anger and shame warred in her. And fear- now that she knew Peeta wasn’t going to do this, she couldn’t deny what waited for her in the Capitol. 

It was difficult to breathe. A choking noise escaped from Katniss’s throat, finally jarring Peeta’s eyes from that spot on the wall he’d been studying so intently. Now his gaze was piercing; there was something that looked a lot like betrayal behind the surface. If he only knew why- but she hadn’t told him. She had more pride than that.

Those pretty blue eyes of his- Katniss had assumed they’d fill with lust when he found her waiting naked in his bed tonight. But Peeta hadn’t touched her- he’d refused to even come near her. 

If she just could’ve gotten him to touch her, she was sure she would have convinced him somehow. But he’d sputtered something nonsensical about her being too young, that it would be wrong to make love to her. Hell, it was wrong to want to touch her, he’d said with bitterness tinging the edges of his words.

His words had made her laugh- she’d probably sounded hysterical, but if so, she had good reason. All men didn’t think like Peeta, especially those in the Capitol who were willing to pay top-dollar for Panem’s newest Victor. 

Katniss was only sixteen, but that didn’t seem to matter to anyone except Peeta, who’d become her friend over the last few months while everyone else avoided her after her return home. 

And so, even though he was ten years her senior, Peeta’s face was the first one that came to mind when Haymitch sat her down after the Victory tour and told her about the other role Victors were required to take in the Capitol. When Katniss visibly cringed at the use of the word prostitution, Haymitch, not unkindly, suggested she find a friend from home to help “break her in” if she didn’t want her first time to be with a stranger. 

So she’d decided on Peeta, who was kind and gentle and she was sure wouldn’t hurt her- he would make it as easy for her as he could, she’d figured. Peeta was an unmarried man, so why would he mind? He had to be lonely. Certainly, he’d welcome her advances.

At least that’s what she’d told herself.

But her carefully thought-out plan had failed. Peeta’d rejected her. 

Avoiding his eyes again in the name of keeping herself under control, Katniss snatched her coat off the floor, striding past him on her way out. She almost made it out the door before her sobs broke loose, but once they came, she couldn’t stop them, so she took off in a run. She had to get away.

“Katniss, wait!” Peeta called, running after her into the dark. 

A moment’s hesitation was all it took for him to catch up with her. When he touched her shoulder, Katniss knew she should shove him off, but it felt too good- his touch was comforting, like the man who was her friend and not the one who’d rejected her. 

“What do you want?” she asked, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands, trying not to let him see.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Peeta frowned at her tears; his voice carried a confused note when he spoke. “I just, I want to know why you came to me tonight. I haven’t given you the impression I’m trying to get you to do that, have I? I’ve tried so hard to be your friend, for there to be nothing inappropriate between us.”

“No, Peeta.”

“Then why?” he whispered, eyes darting back and forth across her face. He looked on the verge of some intense emotional taking over, but she had no idea what that was. Obviously, she didn't know what he was thinking- she'd misjudged him so thoroughly.

Katniss bit her lip to stop its tremor when she tried to speak. She probably wouldn’t be in this position now if she’d told Peeta the truth instead of surprising him in his bedroom and bluntly asking him to come to bed with her. 

  
  
  


“I’m scared,” she admitted after getting herself under control enough to speak, though her voice still shook. “I have to- there are things Victors have to do-”

“Things?” he whispered. ”Like what you wanted to do with me?”

She nodded. “We’re sold. Prostituted. And I’ve never- Peeta, I’ve never even been kissed by anyone.”

Even in the dark, Katniss could see the color drain out of his face as he realized what she was saying. 

  
  
  


“And I’m afraid,” she admitted. “I wanted the first time to be with someone who wouldn’t hurt me. I wanted to have some idea of what would happen- at least a memory of something good. But you don’t want me, and I’m supposed to go back to the Capitol next week-”

A harsh noise came from Peeta, starling her. “I never said I didn’t want-” he pulled her against him, burying his face in her loose hair as his arms went around her back. His words came out muffled against the loose tresses of her hair. “I never said I didn’t want you, Katniss. I just said it would be wrong.”

”Everything is wrong though,” she said, laughing bitterly at the irony of it all. ”So what’s one more thing?” Katniss stepped back, clearing her throat. Peeta’s arms felt so good, so safe- she was afraid she’d make a fool of herself all over again if she didn't leave now.

He stared intently at her, and she watched his throat bob up and down when he swallowed. 

”I guess it's nothing at all then,” Peeta said before he moved into her. 

Katniss’s breath caught in her throat, and her eyes slid closed when his mouth met hers in a searing but gentle kiss.

”I’ll make it good for you, I swear,” he said, picking her up and carrying her back inside his house.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Haymitch

Haymitch groaned and rolled over on his side, scooping the pillow off the floor and covering his face to block out the light and the accompanying pounding going on inside his head at the moment.

But wait, that sound was coming from the other side of his front door, dammit. He knew who it had to be: he’d been awake at first light when Sweetheart showed back up at home hand in hand with the youngest Mellark boy. They’d stood talking for a bit, and then Peeta had gently kissed her goodbye in a way Haymitch had never seen the pair interact. The moment between them seemed so private that he felt like an intruder watching, but he’d felt such relief at the change in their relationship he couldn’t help himself.

Peeta had the situation taken care of. In a pinch, Haymitch probably could’ve got Finnick or one of the other Victors to take care of Katniss, but he’d seen the way she looked at that Mellark boy and the way he looked back at her- he’d assumed Peeta was the once she meant when she told him she’d try to find someone herself. 

Haymitch had spent more time worrying about that girl than he’d ever admit to doing. Just like the other kids he’d had to mentor over the years, it was always going to be about keeping Katniss alive, just under different circumstances. He wished there was something else he could want for his kids. Something normal like watching a girl develop a healthy relationship with a boy she liked, and not preparing her for the Capitol hell she was about to be thrown into.

“Haymitch!” Peeta’s voice carried in from his front step, “I need to talk to you.” He sounded determined. Haymitch just knew he was just going to start talking through the door if he didn’t get up, and they couldn’t have that. 

Well, shit- there was no avoiding it then. “Hang on- I’m coming. Don’t get your britches in a bind, boy.”Haymitch half-rolled, half-stood getting up from the couch. He grabbed his coat and a bottle off the table on the way to answer- he knew there was no way he was having this conversation without a little liquid back-up.

When he opened the door, Peeta stood with his back to one of the porch posts, staring pensively across the way at the Everdeen’s house. He didn’t exactly look like a man fresh from a night of romping with his girl like Haymitch had anticipated Peeta would.

Who boy, this conversation was going to be rough. Haymitch wondered if he ought to go back for a second bottle. But there was always the Hob if he got desperate- they could just walk in that direction.“Morning,” Haymitch greeted him, heading down the steps without waiting for him.

Peeta followed him. “Don’t know what’s good about it, to tell you the truth,” he admitted.

Haymitch barked out a laugh- he knew it was inappropriate, but dammit, he couldn’t help himself. “If what I assume happened last night happened, I have to say I’m mighty surprised by your attitude this morning. Thought you’d be grinning like a loon.”

“Haymitch, don’t,” Peeta muttered. He took another glancing look at Katniss’s home before averting his eyes again. “How’d you know about what happened with Katniss, anyway?”

Damn, Haymitch realized- the boy had it bad; he was positively mooney over her. Peeta was certainly protective, and he could appreciate a man who wanted to be a gentleman when it came to his love life. “Saw you drop her off this morning, boy.”

Peeta laughed harshly. “I’m no boy.”

Haymitch realized what he was getting at. “And therein lies the problem?” 

“Yeah, you could say that.” Peeta seemed to be warring with himself.

“You’re feeling guilty,” Haymitch supplied.

“You could say that too. It’s just that- I’ve cared about Katniss for a long time, I’ve wanted to know her for years, even when it seemed wrong to feel that way because she was so young.” 

Haymitch nodded in encouragement, letting him speak. He was no priest, but he'd heard his fair share of other’s sins in his lifetime. Peeta seemed half-eaten up with guilt over what he’d done, giving no thought to the mercy it’d been.

“But I… I kept my space. Before Katniss got reaped, I had a plan to ask her to marry me once she graduated from school, to keep her out of the mines if nothing else. I wouldn’t even let myself talk to her until then- but then, after she came back from the Games, she was so lonely, and I felt like she needed a friend. So I was her friend, and I never did anything inappropriate with her, never once. I had all of these dreams, Haymitch, all these plans,” Peeta whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “And because of those bastards _ ,  _ each one was ruined! Because of what they are forcing her to do, I did each of those things with Katniss I would never even let myself think about.”

“Now, boy,” Haymitch sighed, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. He certainly hadn’t had enough to drink to be on the receiving end of this deluge of self-loathing Peeta was directing at him- the kid seemed on the verge of hysterics.

“Dammit, Haymitch, I’m no boy!” and then Peeta did start crying in earnest. “I- I touched her, I had my hands on her naked body. I was inside of her, and-”

“I don’t need these details,” Haymitch muttered, even if his heart did go out to the younger man.

For being ten years older than Katniss, it almost seemed like he was the more innocent of the two. But then again, Peeta hadn’t been exposed to the things Katniss had before, during, and after the games.

“I’m in love with her. And I wasn’t; I wasn’t going to do those things with her- not unless she wanted it. I just wanted it to be real.”

Haymitch came to a stop. “Kid, you can’t beat yourself up over this.”

”Why the hell can’t I?”

”Well, the way I look at it, ” he sighed, realizing Peeta wasn’t going to be a bit happy with this, ”the problem is you got too many standards for your own good.”

Peeta shook his head in disbelief. ”How can that be a problem?”

”It’s like this- because of the convoluted world we live in, we all gotta do things to protect each other- things we don't want to do. Things that seem wrong to us. You wouldn’t believe all the capitolite ass I kissed to keep Sweetheart alive during the games. And Katniss- she's going along with what’s demanded of her to protect her sister. And you-”

Peeta’s eyes fluttered closed, his face blotchy from crying. ”Please don’t-”

Haymitch frowned at him. ”No, I gotta say it. You made it easy for her last night. She knows what to expect now- so don't beat yourself up for enjoying something that's natural to enjoy just because someone else perverted the reason you did it. You and her are innocent in this. And Peeta-”

”What?” he managed, meeting Haymitch’s eyes.

”Things aren’t ruined- they’re not. A girl is more than her experiences.”

”I know that,” Peeta answered swiftly. ”I’m just struggling to forgive myself- I can’t even think about what’s going to happen to her yet. I’m trying to think of some way to keep it from happening at all.”

_ Me too kid, me too.  _

Instead of sharing his thoughts though _ ,  _ Haymitch laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. ”Just be there for her- whatever she needs, be that. Nothings beyond repair that way.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Peeta

Peeta’s hands shook as he attempted to set the teacup down on the counter, the hot liquid splashing against his wrist and causing him to release his hold on it more quickly than he meant to. ”Dammit, ” he swore as the porcelain cup and saucer clattered against the counter. It wasn’t that big of a deal- Peeta had burnt himself more times than he could remember; it was just that every day he felt like he was losing his mind a little more. 

Ignoring the cup anyhow, just the same as he’d done many times over the last week or so since Katniss left for the Capitol, Peeta made it over to his chair and slowly lowered himself down into it. He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands, forcing himself to breathe so he wouldn’t find himself hovering on the verge of a blackout again from a lack of oxygen. He couldn't let himself panic again.

Every day had been the same since Katniss left: wake up on the couch after too little sleep because he could no longer stay in his bed after being there with her, remember where she was, fight away the bile that ultimately formed in the back of his throat (an aftereffect of using white liquor to get any rest), and then get up because being alone with his thoughts was killing him. 

Peeta spent his days that week in the back of the bakery, forcing his older brother to wait on the customers. He did every possible task he could think of in the name of keeping his thoughts at bay. 

At night Peeta went home alone and tried the best he could to keep from drinking himself into incoherence. Some nights he managed a little self-control; some nights, he didn't.

Nothing seemed to be working. Peeta just spiraled further out of control. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing was right. He couldn't seem to function at all when everything was so wrong.

Peeta knew he should feel marginally better today. Katniss was coming back on the train tonight, and that meant whatever she’d had to do was over for now. Whatever had happened to her, at least she was getting a respite from it.

He was relieved, but the fact that she’d had to go at all, that he hadn’t been able to protect her, was eating him alive. 

Peeta wanted to see her to know how she was, to offer his support, but he had no idea if Katniss would come anywhere near him. She was probably associating what they'd done with what had been done to her in the Capitol by now, tarnishing what he’d tried so hard to make a positive experience for her.

He wouldn’t blame Katniss if she hated him because he hated himself.

  
  


_ Peeta had gone to see her one more time before she left for the Capitol. It was something he had to do, even if he was furious all over again just looking at her. But that wasn't her fault, none of this was. Katniss wasn’t to blame. _

_ He thought he did a decent job of hiding his feelings from her that morning, though. He was determined to be whatever she needed him to be- even if every moment made him feel like he was dying inside. _

_ That last morning at her house, Peeta’s typical way with words failed him entirely, but it didn’t seem to matter to her. Katniss had led him away from her house in the Village, towards the border between the fence and the woods, where they walked together.  _

_ Peeta remained mostly silent while she pointed out different things naming them. Mostly she talked about the birds and the different types of plants growing near the fence row.  _

_ Katniss had seemed happy out there, for a while. ”I wish I could just leave. I’d take my sister and go, ” she confided to him, her eyes focused on the forest just on the other side of the chain-link fence. _

_ She'd been brave that day, her voice steady as Peeta had ever heard. He still wasn’t sure how she was able to stop herself from worrying about what was coming, even for a minute to have a normal conversation with him. _

_ ”If you head east towards that ridge and walk a few hours at a steady pace, you’ll find a lake there, with a cabin on it's shore. I’d pack up my family and just fly away if I had the chance,” she said, laughing ruefully. “My father used to take me there. Before-” _

_ ”Before you lost him?” _

_ ”Yeah.”  _

_ When they returned to her house in the Village they didn't speak to each other much. Instead, Katniss stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. ”Thank you,” she said. ”Whatever happens, it's gonna be okay.” _

_ Peeta fought to keep the tears from slipping out of the corner of his eyes, while she stood smiling at him. _

_ ”You’ve been a good friend, ” Katniss added, before turning on her heel and leaving him with nothing but the memory of her soft lips on his skin. _

A noise on the front step startled Peeta from his thoughts. He was getting up from the chair, looking just in time to see the door open.

And there she was. 

Katniss was back.

She was actually here again, in his house. Peeta realized he’d done a fair job of convincing himself he’d never see again. 

Katniss stood in his doorway, looking at him- much the same as she had looked that last morning. Just a little paler now; a little shattered behind the eyes. 

But it was still her.

”Can I come in?” she asked hesitantly.

”Of course,” Peeta said, standing to his feet.

Katniss hesitated, and in that moment Peeta somehow knew what she was thinking. There was fear in her expression- fear that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her after the way she'd been used. Fear that was an inverted reflection of his own.

So putting aside his apprehension and guilt for the first time in days and days, Peeta walked towards her confidently. When he reached her, he pulled Katniss into his arms. There was nothing more between them, just the act of holding the girl who needed him.

When he felt Katniss relax in his arms, Peeta knew he’d made the right call. She had to know he saw just her and not what had been.

”Come sit down, ” he said, leading her to the couch. ”I’ll make us some tea. You can stay as long as you need to.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more chapter planned to wrap this up- I have to give these two a happy ending. Keep your eyes peeled.


	4. Willow

”Hey baby, it's almost time to go. Are you ready?” Daddy calls to Willow, grabbing her attention with his head sticking out the kitchen window. 

It’s comical to see because the window is small, while his shoulders are broad. 

If they were still at the lake cabin, their summer house, Daddy would have to come outside to talk to her because there are only two windows in the whole place. There’s one large window in the front room at the cabin and one more in the loft where she and Rye have their bedrooms. Momma says they spend so much time outside they don’t need more light than that once they’re all inside for the evening. 

Willow loves it at the cabin on the far side of the woods, but it's fall now, and time for her and her brother to go back to school, and that means the Mellark family has set up residence in the Village just like they do every year. She likes many things about being back in town, such as seeing her friends regularly and more visits with Grandpa Haymitch and the baby geese, but she sure does miss the lake. 

Momma and Daddy take them to the cabin on some weekends during the year, so she supposes that’s alright too, and it makes her miss it less. Daddy tries to comfort her, always saying that it never hurt anyone to have something to look forward to for a little while before they got to have it.

“It was just like that with me and your Momma, Willow,” Daddy would say, his expression kinda pensive but his eyes smiling in that funny way he had. “I had to wait for her for years.”

Momma usually got a remembering sort-of look on her face- she’d smile at the back of Daddy’s head where he couldn’t see her face. She was sentimental but didn’t always want to show it for some reason. 

“I was friends with her for years, good friends,” Daddy would say. “I waited for what felt like forever for her. Finally, though, once the Great War had been over for about three years and your Momma was twenty, she decided she liked me enough to agree to marry me.”

“Don’t you mean loved you, Peeta?” Momma usually interjected, her eyes all soft and shiny. She looked at Daddy like she was about to melt into a puddle. “I wouldn’t have married you otherwise.”

“And she was worth every day I waited for her, every single minute.” Daddy would tell Willow, looking a little puddley in the corners of his eyes himself as he gazed back at Momma.

Yeesh- the two of them were ridiculous with all that lovey-dovey stuff.

And then Momma and Daddy would kiss, which was so gross but weirdly made Willow kind of happy to see. Not all of her friends’ parents seemed to love each other the way hers did.

“Yeah, I’ve been ready. You guys are the slowpokes,” Willow answers, grabbing her book bag off the fence post. She’d been feeding leftover apple-slices to their goat.

Daddy shuts the window behind him; moments later, he and Momma come outside with Rye in tow. 

“Let’s go,” Momma says, taking Willow’s hand in her small, secure clasp and leading her into town. “It’s a big wide world out there, and it’s just waiting for you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to show Katniss and Peeta in the future with a happy life. In my mind, I imagine the two of them staying close friends but nothing more until after the Rebellion is over (same time frame as during the series, just minus Katniss. Without the star-crossed lovers' angle, I don't imagine there being a Victor's Quarter Quell) and Katniss has had time to heal from what she'd been forced into doing. Peeta stops blaming himself for his part when he realizes that she doesn't see what happened between them that way. He can let go of his guilt and just be there for her as a friend and support person. When the war is over, they grow together and fall in love, and eventually, toastbabies happen :).
> 
> That's all- I really liked the idea for this story but I didn't have the energy to delve into a longer version. Hope you enjoyed what's here. Thanks for reading!


End file.
